There is a quote by Viktor Frankl that is in my list of top 5 greatest quotes ever:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
It is a beautiful idea. And in real life, that “space” can feel very small or non-existent.
An email lands with a sharp edge.
A conversation goes sideways.
Someone interrupts, dismisses, or disappoints you.
Your stomach tightens. Your story kicks in. Your familiar patterns take over.
Before you know it, you have REACTED. Not RESPONDED.
What I have learned, personally and through years of working with people at many stages of life and career, is that empowerment does not come from avoiding these moments. It comes from what we do inside them.
So here is the phrase I want you to remember:
Press PAUSE. Then Choose.
PPTC for short!
The Power of the Pause
Most of us do not experience the space Frankl describes as calm or spacious. Space? What space?!
We experience it as emotion. Defensiveness. Fear. Irritation. Self-doubt. Self-bullying.
The pause is not about being passive. It is about interrupting autopilot.
“Press PAUSE” is a physical cue, like stopping a movie mid-scene.
The action freezes. Perspective widens. You step out of the moment just enough to see it clearly.
That pause, sometimes only a single breath long, is where your power lives.
Not later. Not once things calm down. Right there.
A couple of weeks ago, my husband David was driving our son Spike and me to Spike’s saxophone lesson. As he pulled into a parking space on a residential street, the car clipped a trash can sitting on the curb. The impact knocked the right-side mirror clean off, BOOM!
In the very first second, I reacted. “OMG, you hit that trash can!”
And then I paused.
It was an accident. What was done was done. No amount of commentary, blame, or frustration would change what had already happened. More importantly, continuing to react would not be in alignment with my values or how I want to show up with the people I love.
Within seconds, my body softened. I smiled. Then I actually laughed, because it was such a freak accident. The situation did not change, but my experience of it did.
That is the practice. Not never reacting but noticing the reaction and choosing what comes next.
Why We Lose Power Under Pressure
When we feel threatened, criticized, or misunderstood, our brains are trying to protect us. They reach for familiar responses:
-Over-explaining
-Withdrawing
-Getting sharp or defensive
-Agreeing when we do not actually agree
These reactions are not flaws. They are learned habits. Our brains go into “Default Mode.”
The problem is not the situation itself. The problem is when we skip the pause and go straight to the reaction we have practiced the longest, the well-worn path.
Feeling disempowered is often not about what happened. It is about reacting without choosing.
What “Press Pause. Then choose.” Looks Like in Real Life
This is not a mindset shift. It is a small, repeatable practice.
Here is how to use it in the moment. It helps me to visualize an actual PAUSE button.
1. Press PAUSE Take one breath. Slow the moment just slightly.
2. Name what is happening I am feeling dismissed. I am activated. I want to defend myself.
3. Choose deliberately Ask: What response serves me best right now, not just my reflex?
That is it. No perfect response required. Just a conscious one.
Why Choice Changes Everything
The most grounded and resilient people I know are not the least emotional. They are the most intentional when emotions show up.
They understand that:
-Patterns repeat when they are unexamined
-Small choices shape long-term outcomes
-Agency is built through practice, not willpower
Every time you pause and choose, you strengthen that capacity. Repeated practice turns into a habit.
Sometimes the choice is big. Sometimes it is as small as deciding not to pile on after the mirror is already broken.
Growth does not happen because the moment was easy. It happens because you met it awake.
And you never owe anyone an instant answer or reaction.
If you need time, you can say, “Give me a moment to absorb what you said,” or “Let me think about that for a beat.”
Buying yourself a little time is not avoidance. It is how you create space to choose a response you can stand behind.
That is it.
No perfect response required. Just a conscious one.
How This Creates Freedom
Frankl was not talking about controlling circumstances. He was talking about inner freedom.
Freedom is not reacting the way you always have. Freedom is choosing how you show up, even when the options are imperfect.
Next time the moment is moving too fast, the emotions are loud, and your old patterns want the wheel, press Pause. Then choose.
That is where growth lives. That is where freedom begins.
Key Takeaways
1. Power lives in the PAUSE. Even a brief interruption of autopilot creates choice.
2. Reactions are habits. Responses are intentional decisions.
3. Naming your internal state reduces its control over you.
4. Choice is a skill that can be practiced by anyone.
5. Growth comes from responding with intention, especially in difficult moments.
Your Action Plan: 3 Ways to Practice Choice
1. Create a physical cue. Use “Press PAUSE” as your reminder when emotions spike. Put it on a sticky or your phone wallpaper as a reminder.
2. Name before you act. Label the feeling or impulse to regain clarity.
3. Choose consciously. Respond in a way you will respect later.
The Beautiful Truth
You do not need more confidence. You do not need perfect conditions. You do not need the right words in the moment.
You need a PAUSE.
Because in that pause, you reclaim authorship of your life. You stop handing your power over to circumstances, people, or patterns that no longer serve you.
Choice is not abstract. It is something you practice moment by moment.
And the more you practice it, the freer you become.
If someone you know is stuck in reaction mode or feeling disempowered, share this with them. Sometimes all it takes is a pause.
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Sending you a myriad of PAUSES!
– Nadya